Happy Penis Pillows - 3 SIZES | Great Gag Gift Idea

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As seen in

The Dildo Hub has been featured in leading publications covering modern sexuality and wellness.

Product Overview

Get ready to cuddle up with the happiest pecker around! The Happy Penis Pillow is soft, squishy, and designed to bring joy, laughter, and pure comfort to your home. With a big, goofy grin, this plush dong is always happy to be here—whether you’re squeezing it for stress relief, lounging with it on the couch, or making it the centerpiece of a hilarious gag gift exchange. Made with a super soft outer layer and plush filling, it’s the perfect body pillow for snuggling, propping up your legs, or just keeping you company on those lonely nights.

Key Features

  • Super Soft and Squishable: This plush pecker is designed for maximum comfort with a fluffy filling and ultra-soft exterior, making it an ideal snuggle buddy.
  • Perfect Gag Gift: Whether it’s for a bachelor or bachelorette party, a White Elephant gift exchange, or just a hilarious surprise, this plush pecker guarantees a good laugh!
  • A Super Happy Pecker: This dong is extra plump and full of personality, featuring a big, happy grin that never fades.
  • Machine Washable: Keep it clean effortlessly—just toss it in the wash with mild detergent and cold water, then air dry to maintain its fluffiness.
  • Great for Any Occasion: Use it as a body pillow, travel companion, knee support, or fun bedroom décor. Perfect for anyone who loves a little humor in their comfort!

Measurements, Materials, and Specifications

  • Small: 11.4 inches (29 cm) Height x 5.6 inches (14.2 cm) Width x 4.3 inches (11 cm) Depth
  • Medium: 19.6 inches (49.8 cm) Height x 10.2 inches (25.9 cm) Width x 7 inches (17.8 cm) Depth
  • Large: 25.7 inches (65.3 cm) Height x 14 inches (35.6 cm) Width x 9.5 inches (24.1 cm) Depth
  • Materials: Soft plush polyester
  • Color: Light

Material and Safety Emphasis

Crafted from high-quality, plush polyester, the Happy Penis Pillow is designed for durability and long-lasting softness. Whether you're squeezing, hugging, or resting on it, the premium materials ensure a cozy and enjoyable experience. Its hypoallergenic stuffing is safe for all users, making it a fun and worry-free addition to your collection of unique plushies.

Fun Uses & Gift Ideas

Looking for a conversation starter? This happy little pecker is ready to steal the show! Take it to sleepovers, bachelor parties, game nights, or holiday gatherings for an instant mood booster. It's also a hilarious yet functional pillow for long road trips or flights. Got a friend who could use a laugh? Surprise them with this unforgettable gift and watch their reaction!

Cleaning & Maintenance

Caring for your Happy Penis Pillow is easy! Simply wash it in cold water with mild detergent and air dry to keep it fluffy and soft. Avoid bleach and high heat to preserve its vibrant grin and plush texture.

Customer Benefits, Discreet Shipping & Billing

We value your privacy! Your Happy Penis Pillow will be shipped discreetly from Los Angeles with no mention of the contents on the packaging. We will bill you as TDH-BR to ensure your peace of mind.  Plus, as a thank-you for shopping at TheDildoHub, we include a sexy surprise gift with every order! Got questions? Reach out to us at support@thedildohub.com.

Why You Need the Happy Penis Pillow

Why settle for an ordinary pillow when you can have one that makes you smile every time you see it? Whether you're using it for comfort, decoration, or a guaranteed laugh, this hilarious yet cozy plush pecker is a must-have. Grab yours now and add a touch of humor to your cuddle game!

Shipping, Billing & Privacy

Last Updated: August 2026

Your privacy travels with every order

From the moment you check out to the moment your package arrives, every step is designed so that what you buy stays entirely between you and us.

How we appear on your statement

  • Credit / Debit Card: Sp-Tdh-Br
  • PayPal: TDH Retail Ltd

Some banks may display a slightly different or truncated version of these descriptors — this is determined by your financial institution and is outside our control.


What Discreet Shipping Means

Every package we send is prepared with your privacy in mind. If someone sees your order on your doorstep, in your mailroom, or being carried by you, they will have no way to know what’s inside. Even carrier employees handling your package cannot tell from the exterior that it contains intimate products.

  • Plain Packaging: Orders are shipped in standard brown cardboard boxes or plain poly mailers, with no decorative branding.
  • No Branding: No product names, logos, or “TheDildoHub” branding appear on the exterior of your package.
  • Carrier Markings Only: The only external markings are the shipping label and carrier tracking information required for delivery.

Plain cardboard shipping boxes used for discreet packaging

Our Shipping Boxes

We use cartons from Stock Box Company and other established packaging suppliers. The specific packaging used may vary depending on your order’s size, weight, fulfillment location, and availability. Using cartons from different suppliers does not change the discreet nature of your shipment.

All boxes used for shipping are plain, unbranded, and selected to provide appropriate protection during transit. The Stock Box Company cartons pictured above are single-wall boxes supplied from Santa Fe Springs, California. Their printed certification states that they meet the construction requirements of the applicable freight classification.

The certification shown on these cartons lists the following specifications:

  • Bursting-Test Rating: 200 pounds
  • Minimum Combined Facing Weight: 84 pounds per 1,000 square feet
  • Maximum Size Limit: 75 inches
  • Maximum Gross Weight Limit: 65 pounds

These specifications apply to the pictured Stock Box Company cartons. Other boxes may have different manufacturer specifications, but all packaging used for your order is selected for safe transit and maintains the same plain and discreet presentation.

For suitable smaller or lighter shipments, we may use padded poly mailers instead of cardboard boxes. These mailers are also plain and unbranded, with no externally visible product descriptions.


Free Shipping

Free Super Saver Shipping applies automatically to all U.S. orders over $139 — no promo code needed. Every free shipment receives the exact same discreet packaging treatment as any paid tier. Your privacy is never a function of how much you spend.


Order Processing

All orders take 1–2 business days to process before they ship. Orders placed with Express, Priority, or Rush shipping are processed on the next business day. Processing time is separate from transit time, and the delivery estimates for each shipping method begin once your order has been packed and handed to the carrier.

Orders placed on weekends and federal holidays begin processing on the next business day.

  • Processing Time: 1–2 business days for all orders. Express, Priority, and Rush orders are processed the next business day.
  • Tracking Updates: Tracking information may take 24–48 hours to update after your order ships. If it hasn't moved after 48 hours, contact us.

Shipping Rates

All rates are flat per order — not calculated by weight. The same price applies whether you're in Manhattan or rural Alaska. TheDildoHub covers any additional carrier costs; you will never be charged more than the rate shown at checkout.

Domestic Shipping — United States

All 50 states · APO/FPO/DPO · U.S. Territories · PO Boxes

Method Transit Time Price Typical Carriers & Services
Super Saver (Free) 7–10 Business Days Free (>$139) USPS Ground Advantage, FedEx Ground Economy, UPS SurePost, OnTrac Ground
Economy 5–7 Business Days $10.95 USPS Ground Advantage, FedEx Ground, FedEx Home Delivery, UPS Ground, OnTrac Standard
Express 4–5 Business Days $24.95 USPS Priority Mail, FedEx Home Delivery, UPS Ground, OnTrac Express
Priority 3–4 Business Days $34.95 USPS Priority Mail Express, FedEx Express Saver, FedEx 2Day, UPS 3 Day Select, UPS 2nd Day Air
Rush 1–2 Business Days $64.95 USPS Priority Mail Express, FedEx 2Day, FedEx Overnight, UPS 2nd Day Air, UPS Next Day Air Saver

Transit times begin after your order ships — processing time is not included. Times are estimates; carrier delays, weather, and peak volumes can affect delivery. If significantly delayed, contact us and we'll make it right.

About our domestic carriers

We use USPS, FedEx, UPS, and OnTrac for reliable nationwide shipping. Our fulfillment team automatically selects the best carrier based on your location, speed, and package details. You cannot select a specific carrier, but every carrier delivers in plain, unmarked packaging.

  • FedEx: Ground Economy, Ground, Home Delivery, Express Saver, 2Day, Overnight
  • UPS: SurePost, Ground, 3 Day Select, 2nd Day Air, Next Day Air Saver
  • USPS: Ground Advantage, Priority Mail, Priority Mail Express
  • OnTrac: Ground, Standard, Express

Why is Super Saver slower than Economy?

Super Saver uses the most cost-efficient routing available at the time of fulfillment — typically consolidators or ground services with longer transit windows. Paid tiers use faster, dedicated carrier services. The same discreet packaging applies regardless of speed.

Military address shipping (APO/FPO/DPO)

TheDildoHub is proud to serve American servicemembers. All military shipments go exclusively via USPS as required by military postal regulations. Tracking is always available. Delivery may take additional time due to military postal routing, but every shipment leaves with the same discreet packaging standards.

PO Box delivery

Yes, we ship discreetly to PO Boxes across the nation via USPS. In our experience, PO Box deliveries may take a little longer — typically 1–2 additional days at most.

Delivery instructions

You can add delivery instructions at checkout. Please note that while we pass these on to the carrier, we cannot guarantee they will be followed in all cases. If delivery privacy is a concern, we recommend selecting a tracked speed so you can monitor arrival.

Why we don't guarantee delivery dates

No carrier can truly guarantee delivery in practice. Even express services are subject to delays from weather, carrier volume, and other factors outside our control. Stating estimates rather than guarantees avoids confusion. If your shipment is significantly delayed, we'll work with you to make it right.

International Shipping — Worldwide

Canada · UK · Australia · New Zealand · European Union & more

Method Transit Time Price Typical Carriers & Services
International Saver+ 10–15 Business Days $34.95 USPS First-Class International, DHL eCommerce, FedEx International Economy
International Standard 7–12 Business Days $44.95 USPS Priority Mail International, UPS Standard, FedEx International Economy
International Priority+ 4–6 Business Days $64.95 DHL Express, FedEx International Priority, UPS Worldwide Expedited, USPS Priority Mail Express International
International Rush 2–5 Business Days $84.95 DHL Express, FedEx International Priority, UPS Worldwide Express

Transit times are estimates from date of dispatch and exclude processing time. Customs clearance may add additional days. If significantly delayed, contact us.

International carriers we use

Our global carriers include USPS, UPS, FedEx, and DHL depending on destination and tier. All international shipments receive the same discreet packaging as domestic orders.

  • International Saver+: USPS First-Class International, DHL eCommerce, FedEx International Economy
  • International Standard: USPS Priority Mail International, UPS Standard, FedEx International Economy
  • International Priority+: DHL Express, FedEx International Priority, UPS Worldwide Expedited, USPS Priority Mail Express International
  • International Rush: DHL Express, FedEx International Priority, UPS Worldwide Express

Countries we ship to

We ship to Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, and EU countries including Germany, France, Netherlands, Spain, Italy, and more. For a complete list, see our International Shipping Policy.

Full international shipping policy

For complete details — including customs duties, delivery times, and all supported countries — please visit our International Shipping Policy.


Where We Ship From

We operate several fulfillment locations across California and one on the East Coast for specific items, positioned to reach you quickly wherever you are in the US. Our system automatically selects the best facility based on inventory and proximity to your address.

  • Huntington Beach, CA 92649
  • Van Nuys, CA 91406
  • Whittier, CA 90601
  • Hightstown, NJ 08520

We do not publicly list a specific street address, as we maintain a closed, business-to-customer operation rather than a public retail storefront.


After Your Order Ships

Once your order is on its way, keeping tabs on it is easy — and if anything goes wrong, we're here to sort it out.

  • Order Confirmation Email: Your shipping notification contains a tracking link. Click it to follow your package in real time via the carrier's site.
  • Shop App by Shopify: Download the free Shop app to track all your orders from one place. Available on iOS and Android.
  • Lost or Missing Packages: If your tracking shows delivered but nothing arrived — or your shipment appears stuck — contact us right away. In most cases, packages are misrouted and located within a few days. If confirmed lost, we reship at no additional cost to you.
  • International Customs & Duties: International orders may be subject to customs duties, import taxes, or brokerage fees imposed by your country. These are not included in your order total and are the recipient's responsibility. See our International Shipping Policy for details.

Our Guarantee — 100% Satisfaction

For health and safety reasons, we do not accept returns on any item, used or unused. That said, we stand fully behind every product we sell.

Many of our products are USB or battery-operated, and on occasion a unit may arrive defective or stop working as expected. Our support team will first walk you through basic troubleshooting — often the quickest path to getting things working. If troubleshooting doesn't resolve the issue, we provide a hassle-free replacement at no additional cost.

How to request a replacement

  1. Contact our support team — available 7 days a week.
  2. Share your order number and product name along with a brief description of the issue.
  3. If the defect is visible, include a photo — this speeds up the process significantly.
  4. Once validated, your replacement ships promptly in the same discreet packaging.

Need help?

We're here seven days a week. Questions about your order, a shipment, or anything else — our support team has you covered.

We take real pride in our customer experience team. We're here to listen when you need to be heard. No chatbots, no AI customer service — just 100% discreet email support from real people.

Email us · Contact page


Policies & Legal

Shipping Policy · International Shipping · Returns & Refunds · Privacy Policy · Terms of Service · Contact Information

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