Shipped from LA, California
As seen in
The Dildo Hub has been featured in leading publications covering modern sexuality and wellness.
Fanta Flesh™ (TPE) • In stock — ships in 1-3 business days • Discreet billing, packaging, and shipping • Ships with full tracking
Quick answer: A 20+ lb plug-in mega masturbator that twerks, shakes, and gyrates with dual cheek motors plus a powerful bullet—5 rotation modes/speeds and 5 vibration modes/speeds for relentless “milking.”
Folks, if your fantasy is a big, juicy bubble butt that milks you silly, this icon is it. The Milk Me Silly kneads you from both sides with dual gyrating cheek motors while a powerful bullet pulses beneath the canal. Mix 5× rotation modes/speeds and 5× vibration modes/speeds via the remote. Plug-in power delivers nonstop torque; the tight, stretchy tunnel softens with lube and a few sessions, so you can level up the squeeze exactly how you like it.
Twerks/shakes/gyrates • Plug-in torque • Remote control • Tight, stretchy canal • Travel plugs included
Heavy (~20+ lbs) • Not submersible • Water-based lube only
Fanta Flesh™ (TPE) — plush, skin-like, body-safe
24V AC adapter • Auto-off after 30 minutes
Remote: 5 rotation modes/speeds + 5 vibration modes/speeds
Deep “milking” massage • Hands-free grinding • Edging
Mega masturbator w/ remote, AC/DC adapter, power cord, 3 travel plugs
| Category | Plug-in mega masturbator (pussy & ass), remote-controlled |
|---|---|
| Retailer | TheDildoHub |
| Motors | Dual gyrating cheek motors + 1 powerful vibrating bullet |
| Programs | 5 rotation modes & 5 speeds • 5 vibration modes & 5 speeds |
| Material | Fanta Flesh™ (TPE) — water-based lubricants only |
| Weight | ~20+ lbs / ~9.1+ kg |
| Power | 24V adapter (3 international plugs included) • Auto shut-off after 30 minutes |
| Availability | In stock — ships in 1-3 business days with tracking |
| Packaging | Plain, unmarked outer box • Discreet billing, packaging, and shipping |
| Care | Unplug before cleaning • Flush canal via either orifice • Do not submerge • Store separately |
Short answer: lube generously (water-based), slide into the snug canal, and let the cheeks knead while the bullet thrums below. Mix rotation and vibration until you hit your favorite “milking” combo; the canal loosens a touch with use for a custom fit.
Safety notes: Keep away from water sources. Extended use may warm the unit—lower speed or rest to cool. Safety stop protects gears if excessive weight is applied.
Discreet billing, packaging, and shipping.
Use the included 24V AC adapter. Press the power button to turn ON/OFF; other controls activate after power is on.
5 rotation modes with 5 speeds, plus 5 vibration modes with 5 speeds. Mix and match for custom sessions.
No. Do not use near water. Unplug before cleaning and never submerge the unit.
Unplug. Flush warm soapy water through either orifice (they connect), then rinse. Air-dry completely before storage.
Three international plugs for the 24V adapter, so you can enjoy consistent power abroad.
An auto-off engages at ~30 minutes. A safety stop also protects gears if too much weight is applied.
TheDildoHub keeps it simple: plug-in power, mega torque, and zero guesswork. We ship with full tracking across the U.S., plus Canadian and international delivery — with discreet billing, discreet packaging, and discreet shipping. Add Milk Me Silly to your cart and let those cheeks go to work — with a sexy gift in every order.
Reviewed by: John Summerfield, Customer Experience Manager — TheDildoHub • Updated: October 28, 2025
From the moment you check out to the moment your package arrives, every step is designed so that what you buy stays entirely between you and us.
How we appear on your statement
Some banks may display a slightly different or truncated version of these descriptors — this is determined by your financial institution and is outside our control.
What Discreet Shipping Means
Every package we send is prepared with your privacy in mind. If someone sees your order on your doorstep, in your mailroom, or being carried by you — they will have no way to know what's inside. Even carrier employees handling your package cannot tell from the exterior that it contains intimate products.
Plain Packaging
Standard brown cardboard boxes or plain poly mailers — no decorative branding of any kind.
No Branding
No logos, no product names, no "TheDildoHub" anywhere on the exterior of your package.
Neutral Return Address
Shows a city and state only — no business name, no indication of the sender's nature.
Carrier Barcodes Only
The only markings on your parcel are your shipping label and carrier tracking information.
Free Shipping
Free Super Saver Shipping applies automatically to all U.S. orders over $139 — no promo code needed. Every free shipment receives the exact same discreet packaging treatment as any paid tier. Your privacy is never a function of how much you spend.
Order Processing
Orders placed before the daily cutoff on business days are packed and handed to the carrier the same day — including Rush orders. Orders placed after the cutoff, or on weekends and federal holidays, ship the next business day.
Daily Cutoff Time
1:00 PM Pacific (4:00 PM Eastern) on business days. All tiers — including Rush — ship same day if ordered before this time.
Tracking Updates
Tracking information may take 24–48 hours to update after your order ships. If it hasn't moved after 48 hours, contact us.
Shipping Rates
All rates are flat per order — not calculated by weight. The same price applies whether you're in Manhattan or rural Alaska. TheDildoHub covers any additional carrier costs; you will never be charged more than the rate shown at checkout.
Choose your speed
Super Saver
7–10 Business Days
Free
on orders over $139
Economy
5–7 Business Days
$10.95
Express
4–5 Business Days
$24.95
Priority
3–4 Business Days
$34.95
Rush
1–2 Business Days
$64.95
Transit times begin after your order ships — processing time is not included. Times are estimates; carrier delays, weather, and peak volumes can affect delivery.
🇺🇸 Domestic Shipping
All 50 states · APO/FPO/DPO · U.S. Territories · PO Boxes
| Method | Transit Time | Price | Typical Carriers & Services |
|---|---|---|---|
| Super Saver (Free) | 7–10 Business Days | Free (>$139) | USPS Ground Advantage, FedEx Ground Economy, UPS SurePost, OnTrac Ground |
| Economy | 5–7 Business Days | $10.95 | USPS Ground Advantage, FedEx Ground, FedEx Home Delivery, UPS Ground, OnTrac Standard |
| Express | 4–5 Business Days | $24.95 | USPS Priority Mail, FedEx Home Delivery, UPS Ground, OnTrac Express |
| Priority | 3–4 Business Days | $34.95 | USPS Priority Mail Express, FedEx Express Saver, FedEx 2Day, UPS 3 Day Select, UPS 2nd Day Air |
| Rush | 1–2 Business Days | $64.95 | USPS Priority Mail Express, FedEx 2Day, FedEx Overnight, UPS 2nd Day Air, UPS Next Day Air Saver |
Transit times begin after your order ships. If significantly delayed, contact us and we'll make it right.
We use USPS, FedEx, UPS, and OnTrac for reliable nationwide shipping. Our fulfillment team automatically selects the best carrier based on your location, speed, and package details. You cannot select a specific carrier, but every carrier delivers in plain, unmarked packaging.
Services by carrier:
Super Saver uses the most cost-efficient routing available at the time of fulfillment — typically consolidators or ground services with longer transit windows. Paid tiers use faster, dedicated carrier services. The same discreet packaging applies regardless of speed.
We may occasionally use UniUni or SpeedX for final-mile delivery in certain areas — crowdsourced delivery networks carefully vetted to meet our service and discretion standards. Your package remains in plain, unmarked packaging regardless of which carrier completes the final delivery.
TheDildoHub is proud to serve American servicemembers. All military shipments go exclusively via USPS as required by military postal regulations. Tracking is always available. Delivery may take additional time due to military postal routing, but every shipment leaves with the same discreet packaging standards.
Yes, we ship discreetly to PO Boxes across the nation via USPS.
You can add delivery instructions at checkout. Please note that while we pass these on to the carrier, we cannot guarantee they will be followed in all cases. If delivery privacy is a concern, we recommend selecting a tracked speed so you can monitor arrival.
No carrier can truly guarantee delivery in practice. Even express services are subject to delays from weather, carrier volume, and other factors outside our control. Stating estimates rather than guarantees avoids confusion. If your shipment is significantly delayed, we'll work with you to make it right.
🌍 International Shipping
Canada · UK · Australia · New Zealand · European Union & more
| Method | Transit Time | Price | Typical Carriers & Services |
|---|---|---|---|
| International Saver+ | 10–15 Business Days | $34.95 | USPS First-Class International, DHL eCommerce, FedEx International Economy |
| International Standard | 7–12 Business Days | $44.95 | USPS Priority Mail International, UPS Standard, FedEx International Economy |
| International Priority+ | 4–6 Business Days | $64.95 | DHL Express, FedEx International Priority, UPS Worldwide Expedited, USPS Priority Mail Express International |
| International Rush | 2–5 Business Days | $84.95 | DHL Express, FedEx International Priority, UPS Worldwide Express |
Transit times are estimates from date of dispatch and exclude processing time. Customs clearance may add additional days. If significantly delayed, contact us.
Our global carriers include USPS, UPS, FedEx, and DHL depending on destination and tier. All international shipments receive the same discreet packaging as domestic orders.
We ship to Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, and EU countries including Germany, France, Netherlands, Spain, Italy, and more. For a complete list, see our International Shipping Policy.
For complete details — including customs duties, delivery times, and all supported countries — please visit our International Shipping Policy.
Where We Ship From
We operate fulfillment centers in California and New Jersey, positioned to reach you quickly wherever you are in the US. Our system automatically selects the best facility based on inventory and proximity to your address.
California
West Coast hub serving the western United States and beyond. Plain packaging, no exceptions.
New Jersey
East Coast hub for faster delivery across the northeastern and southeastern US. Same discreet standards.
After Your Order Ships
Once your order is on its way, keeping tabs on it is easy — and if anything goes wrong, we're here to sort it out.
Order Confirmation Email
Your shipping notification contains a tracking link. Click it to follow your package in real time via the carrier's site.
Shop App by Shopify
Download the free Shop app to track all your orders from one place. Available on iOS and Android.
Lost or Missing Packages
If your tracking shows delivered but nothing arrived — or your shipment appears stuck — contact us right away. In most cases, packages are misrouted and located within a few days. If confirmed lost, we reship at no additional cost to you.
International Customs & Duties
International orders may be subject to customs duties, import taxes, or brokerage fees imposed by your country. These are not included in your order total and are the recipient's responsibility. See our International Shipping Policy for details.
Our Guarantee
For health and safety reasons, we do not accept returns on any item, used or unused. That said, we stand fully behind every product we sell.
Many of our products are USB or battery-operated, and on occasion a unit may arrive defective or stop working as expected. Our support team will first walk you through basic troubleshooting — often the quickest path to getting things working. If troubleshooting doesn't resolve the issue, we provide a hassle-free replacement at no additional cost.
How to request a replacement
Contact our support team — available 7 days a week.
Share your order number and product name along with a brief description of the issue.
If the defect is visible, include a photo — this speeds up the process significantly.
Once validated, your replacement ships promptly in the same discreet packaging.
Need help?
Questions about your order, a shipment, or anything else — our support team has you covered.
